Life's Events!!! Incidents & Co Incidents!!! The Effect of Legality on Gender Basis!

I was trying to rethink and reanalyse one's life!!

I am close and friendly with the following friends, I am not naming them, as I do not have their permission to publically name them, but I am citing an example for illustration purposes only!!

My Closest friend, Mr (X), same as my age, known him from the last 14/15 years, nothing in common, he is a Supreme Court Lawyer, in active practice, a person from far away another state, West Bengal, we together share many things, habbits, way of life etc. He had a family, his only son is same age as my younger son, his estranged wife a English Professor, in a renouned Kolkatta College, her back ground is a renouned Bengali Politician, State Office Bearer, of Congress, but the lady did not wanted to continue with my friend. Why, I asked her? She replied, actually Mr(X), is a good person, but we together do not go far !!!

Both of them contested a legal war for the last 12 years, gained, nothing, wasted time, energy, and of course hard earned money!!! End of the day, both seperated, the lady managed to get a huge financial compensation, including whole of the money that my friend had earned, a house, car and support of the son life time!!

End result, my friend became more and more absorbed in legal practice, his behaviour became a difficult one, with no friends. he turned himself into a Legal Recluse!!!He did not remarry, although 13 years have passed by!!

Second friend, Mr(Y), a qualified IT Post Grad Professional, working in The US. He did not have any children! He after marrying, had left for a greener future to The US and had got a job in a MNC! 6 figures job! He was happy & thanked GOD for His Blessings.

Things went wrong after 2 years of married life! The wife did not wanted to stay at the In Laws place, and the poor husband could not take away the wife with him, to The US.

The wife started legal proceedings against the husband and his family! IPC 498A, 323, 506, 504 many other legal sections were invoked. The husband had to come back from the US to fight & protect his parents!

In the end, after loosing his US job, money and social status , this friend has become a activist, he although won all the legal cases against him, although it took only 19 years to fight the legal battle!

He has started a NGO, namely Parivaar Suruksha Sangha, has invested his left over money ,and built a ashram in haridwar for similar persons, wants to come back to New Delhi, to fight for the ammendment of Section 498A IPC and other rellated newer laws. Even after 20 years, he did not remarry!!

Third friend, Mr (Z), a Orthopaedic Surgeon, from a Well known renouned Royal family of Nepal. A Mr Clean one, has/had a kid of 8 years. This gentleman studied in India, did his Post Grad in Orthopaedics from a renouned Indian Institute. Professionally and other wise a decent, soft spoken and gentleman. He too, like my previous friends was a faithful and honest familyman.

He in a shrot period of 9 years time had earned enough , so that he had purchased a good flat in Kathmandu in the name of his wife! Only fault of his was, he was far away from kathmandu for his job.

Out of blue, one day his wife came to him, accompanied with a lawyer, said she wants a divorce, and she got it, in the settlement, she took all the earnings and the house at Kathmandu!! My friend, quite younger than me, is in psychological shock!

Fourth friend, Mr (A), he too was a Computer IT professional from WB, but working in Mumbai. His inlaws , used to stay along with him, out of no reason, which one can comprehend reasonabily, things strained so much, Criminal & Civil suits are in progress, has reached upto The Supreme Court, but lifes lost, no job, legal expence added, so many troubles added. All lost for both of them.

Fifth myself, same story, womenisering, at the end to save the left out family status, lost every thing i had earned in my life time of 54 years, my only earning of 2 hospitals, test tube baby centre , the plots and cars and all the materialistic things. I becoming and living a life of destitute, added with the burden of supporting both of my sons, although i earn so little after my illness of Brain Tumor, (which is less for myself), but By HIS Grace, I shall fight back. Shall win, but for what gains. 28 cases were instigated against myself, my faithful driver & a faithful friend (although he happened to be from my inlaws side). I gave up every thing, i have become a pauper, but relieved, but I know By HIS Grace, i would regain again!!

I am writing this not as a comment against any person, but as a whole, to the society, why such events are happening, which are devastating, and the draconian laws which have been made without giving much thoughts should be reassesed!!

My Estranged Wife , Ranjana

I was a usual sentimental type, from my Initial Childhood! I grew up , under the influence of my Maternal Grandfather Late Jitendra Nath Sanyal, The Great Indian Revolutionary, a living saint!Incidently, I found his name in the lineage of Yogi Sri Lahiri Mohashaya, The Great Kriya Yogi..

I was a average student, but a serious medical student. I finished my MBBS, thereafter, i did my house job at The Railway Hospital, Gorakhpur, as I could not get House Job in my College, in Surgery.

I joined , The Surgical Department of BRD Medical College, Gorakhpur, in 1983, as Jr Resident, thereafter in the next years time, I got the job of Registar in Surgery, in the final year of MS Surgery. There I met a Serious looking type of a girl, Ranjana, who did not have a father, brought , like me in her maternal grand parents home, grand father , who was taking care of her, was a businessman, who had passed away recently, leaving her , under the care of her Illeterate grand mother, i was carried away towards her, probably, by her being a person without any one to look after, rather a person in need of some one.

Finally, after , about 1 1/2 years , of routine courtship, we decieded to get married. I with great difficulty, could write a post card to my mother, informing about our decision of getting married. My younger brother, Animesh was sent by my parents to make me readjust myself and get a decision of not marrying me as it would be a Intercaste marriage, but I was adamant, finally, after my Paternal Grandmother , agreed , we married on 31st May 1984. My family, came from Ranchi & Jamshedpur to Gorakhpur and the Wedding was Solemnised!

Time passed in fast forwards, I had a taste of living in heaven, although the initial shortcommings, to start a family and the work load and the stress of having less money, was here, but we were together very happy.

I then decieded, that Ranjana would go for Gynaecology in the MS, as I thought, she would have a good practice and together, we would have a ? Successful practice and would earn enough for us to be happy. Ranjana was in the 2nd year of MS Gynaecology, when our Elder son , now named Arjun was born. Some how, our and her friends helped us in getting the deliveries and subsequent care. My friend Dr Awasthi and Bhabhiji and Rashmi & Pratima , both class fellows of Ranjana helped in many ways.

After 3 weeks , with load from The Post Graduate studies and being we alone, we decieded, to leave Arjun, with the care of my parents and sisters, at Ranchi. We somehow, took the young Arjun to his grand parents at Ranchi, and with a heavy heart we had to leave the new born under the care of his grandparents.

We , after comming back, became very busy, with a very heavy schedule. My MS Surgery was over and to earn money i found a job , with The Coal India limited, a GOI Company, to be posted at CHN Naisarai, with lots of professional interferences , was transferred to CHN Gandhinagar, the headquaters.I was better at Ranchi, but was not satisfied professionally, as the work was not like a medical college, work and i needed work. I had become a workholic! I suddenly, left the job, although the money was excellent, but I found myself at a Private Hospital, Aliya General Hospital, at Mau Nath Bhanjan.

I would sometimes visit and go to gorakhpur, to see my wife, but would be teased by her as to why had i come and i would go back to mau, feeling hurt, to again return back after about a month again!

I could not fit myself at The Hospital and left , as usual , like i left my previous job, to come back , all unnoticed back to Gorakhpur! I had no money, no plans and Ranjana was in her final stages of her MS Gynae, but i was there!!

My senior, Dr DK Srivastava, Funda Boss, who was working with the SPM Department in The BRD Medical College, helped me , he could find a place for me to stay and start a practice at Alinagar ,Mohalla, of gorakhpur.

to be continued...